 Our new film critic Vera Wang is taking on the latest and most buzzed-about movie titles to hit the big and small screens. Check out her take on Jurassic World - Dominion.
Come one, come all. Let us see what the Great Hollywood Remake Machine has excreted this time. Today we find ourselves graced by the presence of Jurassic World Dominion, the new sci-fi-action blockbuster helmed by writer-director Colin Trevorrow, revolutionary writer of cinematic events Jurassic World and Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker. The third and final installment into the Jurassic World trilogy, Jurassic World Dominion follows Chris Pratt as Generic American Action Hero man and Bryce Dallas-Howard as Scared/Screaming Woman 1, who are suddenly forced from their life of solitude when their foster daughter and resident plot device, Maisie, is kidnapped. We join our plucky pair of heroes as they travel the vast, sprawling vistas of Green Screen One, Green Screen Two, and Green Screen Three to rescue Maisie, save the dinosaurs, and waste the audience’s time and money. The movie also features Jurassic Park mainstays Sam Neill as Alan Grant, who totters around on-screen haphazardly and commits to the occasional line, Laura Dern as Ellie Sattler, whose performance phases between being mildly optimistic to downright amnesiac, like she’s not fully sure if she’s hallucinating the whole production, and Jeff Goldblum as Ian Malcolm, who tries his best to inject some form of personality into the script; but it’s like giving CPR to a corpse, and he only emerges worse from it. If you were fortunate enough to escape the sanity-sucking abysses Jurassic World and Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom, here’s a quick summary: Twenty-two years after Jurassic Park, humans are still greedy, corrupt, and stupid. A shiny new dinosaur park, Jurassic World, has been erected on the Isla Nublar, where its resident scientists have spliced together hybrid dinosaurs Indominus Rex (Jurassic World) and Indorapter (Jurassic World Dominion), both of which (shock horror!) overcome their captors through a betrayal in the command chain and begin terrorizing humans on the island. The writers clearly had authenticity on the brain. It’s now up to our motley crew of protagonists (of which there are far too many) to subdue Dino of the Week, and apprehend Big Bad Corporate Man. Nestled in this simple premise are subplots riddled with logical inconsistencies and overall poor writing, though other technical flaws like sloppy editing, unconvincing CGI, and atrocious integrations of the green screen must not be understated either. Almost all shots with a visible background (yes, including shots filmed in view of city buildings) looked fake, so much so that I thought I’d been transported into a screening for one of those spoof-movie car commercials. Don’t worry guys, any moment now, a scaly green Fiat with horn attachments is going to come bursting into view, and our beloved characters, Oden, Blaire, and Sam Neill will stare directly into the camera and say, “Coming to a dealer near you- dinosaurs not included.” The actors, so horribly incorporated into the scenery, looked like jpegs being dragged across the screen. Chief of all writing issues, however, is the convoluted plot. Giant locusts, a MacGuffin magical clone girl, an international espionage mission, a mega evil company hell-bent on world domination, biomedical conspiracy heist plans, the rekindling of a three-decade-old romance, identity crises- no, I’m not describing the plot of an offshore Spanish telenovela. All these plot points are executed with the finesse of a two-year-old con artist- too much happening, too poor, and too fast, none of which is helped by the lead actors, who phone in a performance they shouldn’t have accepted, to cash a check they didn’t need. Where this leads us is back to the morals of the first Jurassic Park movie, in which Dr Malcolm asserts that the creators of the dinosaurs “were so preoccupied with whether they could, they didn't stop to see if they should.” Such is the attitude of the writers who engineered the Jurassic World trilogy. Untalented, unfocused, and fraudulent, Jurassic World Dominion continues the legacy of its two predecessors as the cursed lovechild of two lazy writers, and bastard child of a film never meant to be remade. Want to try your hand at writing a review? Seen a movie, listened to an album or read a book that you just have to talk about? Email us at [email protected] to find out more about contributing!
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 Every week, Volumes will feature a new review from one of your St Cuthberts classmates. Want to write one of your own? It's easy! Email [email protected] with the subject line 'Book review request' to find out more.
This week, Morgan Abel-Pattinson (Year 10) reviews The Prison Healer by Lynette Noni. The Prison Healer by Lynette Noni is a fantasy novel that follows the life of 17-year-old Kiva, who is locked away in a well-known death prison, where she has to heal others. However little respect is ever shown towards her. I would recommend this book to people that love fantasy, but also to people that like a well-crafted book. This book is written in a very powerful and effective way. Your interests would probably lie in books that are filled with excitement, as it is a rather fast-paced book. There is also a slightly magical element to it as well if you like that sort of thing. One main thing is that I would only recommend this book to people aged 12+ as there are some darker themes explored. These Hollow Vows is a similar book to The Prison Healer. The similarities are the underlying magical theme, choosing between right and wrong, and not letting love get in the way of what's most important, even if that means dismissing your feelings. I do believe that These Hollow Vows, is slightly more suited to a younger audience. It is set in a notorious death prison, Zalindov, which is part of Wernderall. One of the main characters is called Kiva. Her personality, I would say, is very harsh and she is rather numb to the horrors of her world. Taken to the death prison at only eight years old, and then forced to heal and hurt other people, she learnt not to mix friendships or romance with her slavery inside the prison. Jaren always manages to have quite a positive outlook no matter how hard his life is. He is very obviously in love with another character, and he isn’t quite as afraid to express that as other characters. At first Naari seems like a concrete wall, never showing any signs of emotion, but as the book develops, so do her intentions. I believe that the most prominent underlying theme is the idea of perseverance. As Kiva has had to grow up inside of one of the cruellest and harshest places imaginable so she had learnt to stay very strong. The thing that kept her going was her family's words, “We are coming.” And it didn’t matter how long they were taking Kiva didn’t give up, and just kept going. I would give this book 4.5/5 stars. Keen to read? You can pick up a copy of The Prison Healer at the Frances Compton Library!  Our new film critic Vera Wang is taking on the latest and most buzzed-about movie titles to hit the big and small screens. Check out her take on The Black Phone.
Or, if Pennywise lived in a house in Denver instead of the sewers. The year is 1978, in Denver, Colorado. A string of child abductions have been occurring in a small suburb by a kidnapper dubbed “The Grabber". Soon after protagonist Finney Blake’s friend Robin is taken, Finney, too, is kidnapped; the rest of the film follows a split narrative, wherein Finney tries to escape The Grabber, and his psychic sister Gwen uses her clairvoyant dreams to aid the police in finding him. In The Black Phone, director Scott Derrickson (Sinister, Doctor Strange) attempts to balance both aspects of horror and story, but with varying degrees of success. His hybrid horror of physical threat- the abduction, confinement, and abuse of The Grabber’s victims, and supernatural scares- the body horror and bloody, maimed appearance of the ghosts, work together well to instill a solid element of suspense and fear in the viewers, who wait in apprehension for the myriad of potential atrocities to occur. On the other hand, the reasons for the abductions remain completely unresolved, and the contextual portrayal of the law enforcement’s response to the mass kidnappings is unconvincing and unrealistic. Throughout the film, through subtle, vague mentions of his childhood and distinct fear of removing his mask, I was led to believe that The Grabber, played by Ethan Hawke, might be kidnapping these victims (who all happen to be young teenage boys) as a result of his childhood trauma, which Finney, played by Mason Thames, is also greatly affected by. In the end, there's a big pay-off in terms of action and suspense, but as for why he, and the other boys, were kidnapped? A whole big nothingburger. A generous suspension of belief should be applied to the reactions of the police, who, despite the investigation seeming prolific and well-funded, as seen by the half-dozen cop cars that line the streets to search for the fourth victim, Robin, appear to be grossly incompetent and misguided in their deductions. For example, even though the police had knowledge of The Grabber’s frequent use of black balloons in his abductions, they made no move to survey the area for stores that sold such balloons, which could help narrow down The Grabber’s address or physical description from possible store employees. Why weren’t the detectives more thorough? Why hadn’t they already interviewed all the residents in the suburb? After all, The Grabber clearly only targeted schoolchildren in that specific area. Most importantly, were the police so absolutely inept that they had to resort to using a psychic tween girl to solve their crimes for them? Other than the obligatory “Have you seen this missing boy?”, the audience saw no evidence of the police making a significant effort to close the case. With regard to The Grabber's methods, I have one word: risky. All done in the light of day, on the street, in view of every house and possibly resident. And not once did people report seeing a distinctly conspicuous, matte black van of a non-resident, or hear the children screaming as The Grabber thrust them into the van? Risky for The Grabber to perform, implausible for the residents to ignore. Much praise should be given to Mason Thames for his competent performance as Finney Blake, a young, intelligent boy whose confidence and self-esteem is scarred by his father’s abusive behaviour. Thames’ line delivery was natural, facial expressions and mannerisms subtle, but believable, and he completely embodied Finney’s speech and actions. At the beginning of the film, we saw him crumble under the pressure of an important baseball game, run and hide away from his bullies, and hesitate to even acknowledge The Grabber by name, all which stemmed from a deep-rooted feeling of helplessness and bystanding. Born into the care of a domineering father, whose own traumas developed his abusive tendencies, Finney was forced into a routine of staying silent and obedient in the face of unjust behaviour. “You’re gonna have to stand up for yourself one of these days,” Robin says after Finney defends his bullies. This overarching theme of bravery was not a concept introduced in a ham-fisted manner, nor was the script obnoxious about it- it was interwoven subtly, peppering the audience with subconscious clues of how Finney’s fear, in light of his abduction and increasing desperation, transformed him into a fighter- one who rose to the occasion to fight tooth and nail for his survival. Thames’ acting managed to outshine even veteran actor Ethan Hawke, which was weird not because Mason Thames is a bad actor, just that Ethan Hawke is so absolutely fantastic and versatile and we just… didn’t get to see much presence from him. Which was partly to do with the dirty, ivory mask he used to cover his face, limiting the extent to which we experienced his emotions. However, this was not helped by his character’s tragic lack of screentime and development. Other gripes about continuity errors and plot holes could be made, like how the ghosts of past victims were clearly invisible to Finney, up until the writers needed one to show Finney a potential method of escape. There was also the overbearing presence of jumpscare stings, which provided the audience with a “Hey! Loud noise! Be scared now!” cue that should really only be reserved for making trashy horror B-movies. Overall, The Black Phone is a decent hundred-minute flick that delivers solid B grade horror elements, though its narrative and logical depth leave much to be desired. Opportunities were missed in the underutilization of Ethan Hawke, though Mason Thames’ performance as Finney Blake stole the show. Even in weakness, Finney's resilience is admirable, and it's refreshing to see a character take such smart, sensible actions, all of which culminate in a stellar fight sequence and satisfying ending where he finally escapes his trauma-induced demons. Finney's character development alone is worth the watch, as he transitions from underdog to unlikely hero in a tightly-written, coming-of-age arc. Want to try your hand at writing a review? Seen a movie, listened to an album or read a book that you just have to talk about? Email us at [email protected] to find out more about contributing! Student Book Review: The Fault in Our Stars by John Green, as reviewed by Ellie Carson (Year 9)8/15/2022  Every week, Volumes will feature a new review from one of your St Cuthberts classmates. Want to write one of your own? It's easy! Email [email protected] with the subject line 'Book review request' to find out more.
This week, Ellie Carson (Year 9) reviews The Fault in Our Stars by John Green. The Fault in Our Stars is a young adult fiction/romance published 10th January 2012, written by John Green. This book is about a young teenage girl who has been diagnosed with terminal lung cancer and attends a cancer support group. But then she meets a boy, Augustus, and it changes her world forever… I think this book was definitely written for teenagers, but it is a great romance for anyone who likes that sort of thing. It really raises cancer awareness, as well as being just an all round amazing book that anyone can appreciate. The Fault In Our Stars sort of reminds me of another book, They Both Die At The End. It is another romance about two teenagers who have death looming over them. It is also quite similar to the movie 5 Feet Apart - both of these stories are great, and if you enjoy them then you will definitely enjoy this book! It is set in Indianapolis; the exact year was never mentioned, but based on context clues this story probably takes place between 2008 and 2012. In this book, we meet Hazel. A sharp-witted and extremely conscientious girl, who was diagnosed with a terminal form of thyroid cancer at 13, which has since spread to her lungs. I would say she is wise beyond her years, and one of her defining characteristics is her wish to tread lightly upon the world. The Fault in our Stars explores the ways in which cancer affects those who are diagnosed, but it also shows the ways in which families and friends react to their diagnosis. I rate it a 5 out of 5 stars, because it stays with you long after you turn the last page. The author wants you to learn from this book to appreciate the small moments in life. Star rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐ Keen to read? You can pick up a copy of The Fault in Our Stars at the Frances Compton Library!  Our new film critic Vera Wang is taking on the latest and most buzzed-about movie titles to hit the big and small screens. Check out her take on Crimes of the Future.
From veteran body horror and semi-exploitation director David Cronenberg comes his new film Crimes of the Future, set in a future where human evolution has made redundant the ability to experience physical pain, as well as catalyse the inception of natural, physiological mutations, like the ability to consume and digest synthetics. It stars Viggo Mortensen in the role of Saul Tenser, a performance artist who exhibits his body's ability to grow novel organs by removing them live as part of his show. As a result of this ability, however, he experiences great pain when breathing and digesting food, which he uses a special bed and eating chair to mitigate. As with Scott Derrickson's direction of the recent The Black Phone, Cronenberg fails to strike a balance between horror and story, but this time to a greater extent. Here, the body horror is completely unsubstantiated by the narrative, which is so sterile that it fails to kick into an interesting gear until twenty minutes to credits. Despite the imaginative concept, the premise of the film follows four plotlines equally flat in execution - first, the murder and public autopsy of Brecken, a plastic-eating boy, second, Saul acting as a mole for the police, third, his assistant Caprice's (Léa Seydoux) increasing desire to be featured in their invasive performances, and lastly, Organ Registrar officers Timlin (Kristen Stewart) and Wippet's (Don McKellar) fixation on Saul's organ growths. You'd think I'd be talking about how busy the narrative would get with all these angles, but surprisingly, it's the opposite. Every idea is so barren in exploration that the entire movie feels like the first of eight episodes in a limited series- the one where all the main characters, factions, tensions, relationships and general worldbuilding is established, but it's too early for any of it to be developed and reach a solid conclusion. Everything's happening, but nothing's interesting. The real crime is that the first (and only) self-sufficient plotline gets introduced after eighty minutes- how Brecken is the first child to born with a natural, plastic processing digestive system, and how his father and synthetic diet crew want to use Brecken's autopsy to make a statement about human evolution, where they say consuming plastics is the only way for "human evolution to sync up with human technology" by "feeding on our own industrial waste." I can't help but wonder how much better the film would have been if it just began by introducing this story right off the bat; instead of Saul being the main character, why not Brecken's father, Lang? We could spend our time with him, as he jumps from group to group trying to pitch his idea of a public autopsy to different performance artists, finally reaching Saul, though initially skeptical, is eager to use the novelty of the idea to boost his popularity and eventually open up to the idea of a plastic-based diet. In terms of acting, Kristen Stewart excels once more in playing Kristen Stewart, with her awkward acting and clumsy, stuttered delivery, and Léa Seydoux administers an average performance of a (supposedly) overeager artist, though underutilisation of the star-studded main cast seems to be the name of the game. Viggo Mortenson is… fine, I suppose, because there's not really much to gain from following his character because his character isn't really given much to work with, other than spouting empty, unearned platitudes and directionless one-liners. Which really sums up the movie perfectly- unearned and directionless; there's nothing to learn from being immersed in this world, which is such a shame because a "painless" future really is such a compelling concept- if not physical, what about emotional pain? If surgery is the new sex, why are there so few scenes with surgery and sex? Most of the runtime is spent with characters standing or squatting around, talking to each other about the meaning and direction of human evolution or the body as an art form, without actually exploring the myriad of possible narratives that these concepts suggest. It's a perfect example of style over substance, where the lack of purpose of each scene- and the entire film in general- makes it confusing and pointless to watch, because there's nothing to gain from doing so. The ending was unearned, abrupt, and thoroughly unsatisfying. Take away the shock value and sleek cinematography, and you have a dreary storyline that takes too long to get going, and when it does, we're not even sure if it's moving along or running on the spot. I'm sure the concept art was absolutely amazing, but it's not enough to merit an entire film. By the end, nothing comes to fruition, and it's all a waste of time, money and resources because Cronenberg completely missed the opportunity to make something substantive, insightful and engaging of such a great concept. Want to try your hand at writing a review? Seen a movie, listened to an album or read a book that you just have to talk about? Email us at [email protected] to find out more about contributing!  Our new film critic Vera Wang is taking on the latest and most buzzed-about movie titles to hit the big and small screens. Check out her take on Top Gun Maverick.
Though Top Gun (1986) remains a classic, the original standalone seemed to me long-expired both in the creative and marketing sense- what was left to explore? What could be improved? And most importantly, why now? Yet, thirty-six years gone by, an aged cast, a generation past, and a three-year delayed release, Top Gun: Maverick proves that good storytelling will always sell. Tom Cruise, true to form, has created the biggest action spectacle of the year- what with the cast’s filming on authentic F/A-18 aircrafts, and the very apparent lack of green screens. The effect created is visceral; without the distractions of pixelated set-pieces or poorly rendered backgrounds, the drama and tension of the high-octane flight sequences feel real- the climb in altitude feels real, every turn feels real, every compiling G-force feel real, and the stakes have never seemed higher. In a world plagued by tired CGI and lazy studios, Cruise’s dedication to his craft means more realism and a more immersed audience. “I don't want to do a remake. I don't want to do a reinvention. I want to do a new movie,” said late Top Gun director Tony Scott, when asked about making a sequel. True enough, the fanservice game was played on the subtler side, and the film chose instead to develop a brand new story without dropping the throwback, key-jangling lines typical of most franchise reboot-remakes of late. A solid entry into director Joseph Kosinski’s hit-or-miss filmography, Top Gun: Maverick justifies its existence by providing audiences with a substantive story to tell- one with heart and a genuine message. Going into the movie, though, I never thought twice about what its message was going to be. I, and certainly most other audience members, would have been perfectly fine with the notion of a shallow comedy-cum-testosterone-fuelled-action movie about a fighter pilot kicking ass. Much to my surprise (and perhaps even the filmmakers), the message of the movie is one of emotion- how it can cloud our judgement, as with Rooster’s unprofessional disdain for Maverick’s involvement in Goose’s death, or allow us to act so irrationally that we at once become heroes and lunatics. As with every mission stunt undertaken in this movie. In a time dominated by vast strides in technological advancements, it seems inevitable that one day, humans will be made redundant by our more flawless, programmable, successors. In Top Gun: Maverick, the aptly named Maverick and his crew of pilots navigate the perilous but ageing art of manned aerial warfare by showing that human emotions are not weaknesses to spurn, but instead strengths to hone. As Admiral “Warlock” Bates (Charles Parnell) states, “Success, now more than ever, comes down to the man or woman in the box.” And how perfectly Maverick’s modus operandi “Don’t think, just do” encapsulates this message- these pilots, hardwired by nerves of steel and adrenaline-fuelled instinct, show that humanity’s capacity for ego and basic instinct might not be the weaknesses we thought it to be. Human nature kicks ass- and saves lives. After all, this film is, in essence, a love letter to 80s action movies- along with every dumb, selfless, reckless hero in it. Truly, they don’t make them like they used to. Conversely, its romance subplot left much to be desired. Here, we follow new cast addition Penny (Jennifer Connelly) and Maverick as they rekindle their on-again, off-again relationship after a surprise reunion at North Island. Though not horribly ham-fisted, the insertion of Penny into Maverick’s history still seemed awkward at best, and forced at worst. Albeit mentioned vaguely in the original, it was jarring to watch Penny get an “established Top Gun character” treatment- one similar to Val Kilmer’s Iceman and Anthony Edwards’ Goose. For example, their banter about the ‘good old days’ (not pictured) was so bizarre that at one point I wondered if I’d missed a whole flashback sequence or if I’d even watched the first movie properly. It’s glaringly obvious that the role would have suited Kelly McGillis’ Charlie far better, because then at least the audience would have understood the background of this dynamic, and the dialogue wouldn’t seem so like such a clumsy attempt at giving this (essentially) new character a backstory so entwined with Maverick’s. It’s not completely the fault of the writers, though, because the actors’ chemistry and body language together felt mostly stilted and barren. Overall, their dialogue was serviceable, but their unconvincing interactions made the relationship feel scripted and new, not something established and comfortable like what the script intended. But all things considered, who cares? For better or for worse, the Penny-Maverick subplot is so woefully underdeveloped that it pales in comparison to the action, which calls for a ludicrously impossible mission (hah!) as the team navigate tough terrains and frightfully low altitudes. The stakes are high, and the tension twofold, courtesy of the hard-hitting soundtrack by Top Gun alumni Harold Faltermeyer, Hans Zimmer, and Lorne Balfe (who, under writer-director Christopher McQuarrie, composed the Mission Impossible score). Once again, Tom Cruise hits the mark with Top Gun: Maverick. Instead of belittling the audience, he listens, understands, and takes his time to develop a film that has become an international affair- a film that every man, woman, and dog, will enjoy. Want to try your hand at writing a review? Seen a movie, listened to an album or read a book that you just have to talk about? Email us at [email protected] to find out more about contributing! |
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